Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Honest-to-Goodness Balance

It's the holidays which means there are going to be times when you can't track your macros perfectly, squeeze in your workout, or keep up motivation because you're going to want to spend time with family and friends.

Again, since it's the holidays it also means that you're not going to get that time back to spend with family and friends.

So spend it wisely.

I will say it once more: memories over macros!!

This past weekend, my best friend from college finally graduated! We say finally as a joke because even though she's my age, she didn't graduate until this fall since she's an engineer. She did a co-op where she alternated between working and classes every semester so that's why it took her a year and a half longer than me.

Long story short, she was having a graduation party back at her house this past weekend and invited me to come. It's about three and a half hours away but of course I was going to be there! And macros be darned, I wasn't going to inconvenience anyone with my nutrition.

That's the thing, I will always be able to get back to my macros. The graduation party I won't get back and this is one of those situations where I had to choose wisely. The old me would've stressed and obsessed about all the food, compulsively want to exercise, and just completely forget to enjoy myself.

I was determined not to let that happen this weekend. I wanted to enjoy my time, listen to my body, and practice balance. The wonderful thing is I wasn't even stressed ahead of time thinking about the weekend and had zero anxiety about the upcoming food! The thought of not tracking didn't scare me in the slightest, a huge blessing!!

This is going to be kind of long but I'm going to break everything down to show that it is possible to not only achieve balance but to also maintain it. I never thought I'd get to this point but I'm living it up now!

So I did my long run Saturday morning before leaving home. I did 10 miles which meant I could get the extra carbzzz to refuel! I did this on purpose so that I would have more freedom for dinner once I got to my friend's house. Before leaving, I made sure for breakfast and lunch to load up on protein with my greek yogurt, protein shake, and egg whites while keeping carbs on the lower end so that I'd at least be in the general ball park of my macros. I also brought along a couple quest bars to keep in the car to eat while driving there and on the way back. I was definitely under on protein but knew that and I also knew that I'd make up for the fats and carbs later at dinner.

Let me break down to you what I did: I did NOT track anything BUT I was still conscious of my choices and listening to my body. When I got to her house around 5 for dinner I was really, reallyyyy ridiculously thirsty so I just drank a lot of water for a bit. Like I'm talking 4 water bottles easily went down-- I'm a total water hog! Dinner was served a little after 6 so by this time I was more hydrated and not feeling as hungry since a lot of my hunger feelings were actually my body's cues for water.

I knew that we'd be going out for drinks later and to hang out so I figured that I'd need to reserve some of my extra carbs for a drink. I'm not a big drinker at all but I'm totally fine with going out with my friends for a drink. And it honestly ever is only one drink for me!

So while I was picking out dinner options, I just kinda did some mental checks. There was ham, this delicious bean medley dish, scalloped potatoes, and all kinds of rolls. I took a little bit of ham, beans, and potatoes. I skipped a roll since those carbs would go towards my drink later. Again, I wasn't tracking macros but I was just trying to make the best of my options. I wasn't going to bring my own pre-planned meals and eat that while everyone else enjoyed the foods. First, I don't want to seem rude and secondly, I just don't want to be difficult and be that person.

Plus, her mom is an AMAZING cook and I was not going to pass up delicious home-cooked food! I mean it's a no-brainer to me! I only took small portions, and ate slowly and still kept drinking water. I didn't even need to go back for seconds, I wasn't hungry! That can happen to me on long run days, though, ironically. The further I run, the less hungry I get. But with water, I literally drink probably double what I have any other day of the week.

Sunday was the day of the actual party. First, her mom made us all brunch around 10am and I mean I just have no words. She made all these muffins, cranberry and walnut breads, baked french toast casserole, bacon, sausage, mimosas, and I was overwhelmed with all the delicious options.

Again, I tried to make smart decisions. Of course, the first thing I wanted was water and coffee. I passed on a mimosa because I honestly just didn't want one. Like I said, I'm not a big drinker and I literally just wanted coffee and water in the morning. I took a slice of french toast (they were huge!) and a couple pieces of bacon and was set! That's all I wanted and that held me over until 5 for the dinner. I skipped on the muffins and breads because I didn't want to go completely crazy since I had been hearing things of the wonderful salted caramel cheesecake that would be at the party later. It was an absolute fact that I would be having some of that cheesecake! So I macro-hoarded a bit :) still without tracking a single thing!

Sunday I probably went over a bit just with having a glass of wine, filet mignon, mashed potatoes, and lots of cheesecake. Definitely with fats because of the filet and cheesecake. But I mean when you're given the option of free steak, do you pass it up? Yeah it's a much fattier protein but let's be honest I wanted it and the cheesecake so that's what I did! It was only one day, though, and I felt absolutely fine waking up Monday morning. I wasn't bloated at all and the funny thing is when I took a progress picture this morning and compared it to last week, I was leaner! You just gotta trust the process!

The food was absolutely amazing Sunday night at this restaurant and I have ZERO regrets. Really and truly, I had no guilt over any of the food and I don't think I should be at all. It's not healthy for me to stress over what I did or didn't eat, and it's something that I am totally and completely done with doing.

Her family took us all out for breakfast yesterday morning before we hit the road and I just picked the best options that I could. I picked 2 eggs that came with 2 pieces of bacon with 2 pieces of toast. When I got home, I tracked those because Monday was back to the grind for me! I didn't eat all of the toast because #carbz but I did eat everything else. I also factored in some butter in mfp because I could tell from the taste that there was butter added in.

Here's my thought process as I was picking out my menu options: "Okay, no pancakes or waffles that's just too many carbs. I'll go with eggs because protein and low carb. Bacon will be fine because even though it's fatty I won't have any peanut butter today just the greek yogurt when I get home. Toast or home fries? Well, home fries will have more carbs because of the potatoes and they'll probably add in more butter or oil to make them. I like toast better anyway so I'll go with that."

I didn't make any sacrifices and was 100% happy with my choices. Yeah I love pancakes and waffles but they're usually too heavy for me the way they're made at restaurants. I much prefer my homemade protein pancakes. I also didn't want a heavy breakfast sitting in my stomach while driving back home, the thought was not appealing to me at all!

So I enjoyed breakfast and then ate a cookies n' cream quest bar later on the drive back as a small lunch. When I got home, I loaded up with greek yogurt and went for a 6 mile run! The rest of yesterday I tracked and hit my macros spot on! Breakfast was a bit of a guesstimate and I probably overestimated to be on the safer side. I woke up this morning feeling totally fine, and I even kept going with my increase for this week (I'm in the process of reverse dieting). That was up in the air last week to increase or stay on my macros for another week since I didn't know how I'd do this past weekend with the non-tracking days on Saturday and Sunday.

I'm proud to say that I had two happily balanced days! I made no sacrifices, enjoyed myself and time with friends, and ate the best cheesecake of my life. Seriously, it was an amazing blessing to live my life free of thoughts about food and working out, and just be able to focus on the moment. It was a weekend that I wouldn't be able to get back, and I didn't want to waste that.

This has been something that I've been striving for for almost three years, and I can't thank God enough for how far I've come. I know you might be thinking "well, you don't get it, it's not that easy..." and believe me I realize that! It's not easy at all to get balance back but it starts with baby steps. I put my faith in God, I put in the hard work, and I fought every day to get where I am now. It's not going to happen over night, it's not going to be a quick fix, but I'm in this for life. Three years is nothing to me compared to having the rest of my life peace and balance. I wanted to do this now and I wanted to do this right.

So, with the end of this giant long post, I'll leave you with this: memories will always and forever trump macros. You're not going to get this time back with friends and family. Please don't waste it worrying about your nutrition because in the scheme of life are we put on this earth to love or to eat?

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