Monday, January 12, 2015

We Are ALL "Real" Women

There's a good chance I might offend or upset someone with this post and for that I'm sorry. I honestly mean that because I don't want to fuel the fire but I believe this is something that needs to be put out there more. So here goes nothing. 

How many of you have seen this phrase EVERYWHERE?

"Real Women Have Curves"

I 100% completely and totally disagree. 

Wait, what?

Yes, I disagree and I'll tell you why. This is just more body-shaming in a different form. What about those girls that don't have curves? You're gonna tell them they're not real? I know girls that no matter what they do to try to gain weight, they just don't have a lot of curves. They want those "real" curves but can't seem to get them. 

And that's FINE. That's the way God made them, and they are just as beautiful, real, and wonderfully made as the rest of us. 

There are also girls coming out of eating disorders that are making healthier changes to their bodies but those changes aren't necessarily reflecting that yet. They're still very thin, and then they have to deal with being told they're not real? Two years ago, I lost all shape to my body, and there was little curve to be found. I thought that was the way I should be, and I was in a very vulnerable place. I was not secure with how I looked at all, and extremely susceptible to what society was telling me. 

Coming from that place in my past, it wouldn't have been healthy for me to hear this type of message. It would've made me feel worse about myself. More confused, more conflicted, and more insecure about my body. You never know someone's story and I think telling someone to "eat a cheeseburger" is just as harmful as the other way around.

I heard a story from a girl who is working on getting past her eating disorder, and she's come a long way. She's put on a lot of healthy muscle, and increasing her calories but she's still very tiny. The point is she was at the gym one morning, and this random girl came up to her and said "why are you starving yourself?" then promptly walked away. This poor girl was so shocked and upset that she started to cry. She has made amazing progress, and has worked so hard to overcome her past but then someone says something so ignorant and rude with no idea of what she had been through. I think that's just so careless and thoughtless because you never know someone's background.

I understand where this phrase came from and I get it that people are trying to tell society where they can stick it, but I think it's harming other women in the process. It's bringing other women down by trying to lift other women up. It's like a set of scales where when one side goes up, the other has to go down. 

I don't believe that's right. I don't believe that's necessary. Also, I don't believe it requires a lot of attention. 

Think about it this way: was there ever a time when society just announced "Okay, folks listen up! From now on, we are only going to feature size 00-2 models in the industry."

It was a quiet and slow process where all of a sudden, we realized that we were constantly bombarded with images of the "perfect woman". It didn't happen overnight, and I don't expect it to go away overnight either. 

What if, instead of everyone posting all this stuff about real women being this and that, etc. that we just took out all the labels? I don't think there should be some sort of slogan about real women because like I already said, I think that body shames others. 

As women we have the right to look however we want. If you love your curves, that's awesome! If you want to build yourself some curves, go get 'em! If you're completely content with the way you look, wonderful! If you're not and want to make some changes, you can do it! It is your body, and yours alone.

And if someone ever tries to tell me that girls with muscles are gross, I'll just casually flex my delts at them then walk away ever so nicely ;)

Bottom line is that there is no right or wrong way to look. However we look is how God intended, and I realized that when I began to criticize my body I was pretty much telling God that He made a mistake with me. Let me say this: God doesn't make mistakes. Ever. So every woman that He made, He made her real. 

That's enough for me, and I pray that it should be enough for everyone else too. 


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